InLove

That is the message of the month. Often timeS we look to a relationship to complete us and we forget that another person can’t complete us, we must complete ourselves! A relathionship or marriage should be two whole people coming together to form a partnership.

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Many women seem to get it confused. They feel that being in a relationship means having sex with their partner, even if they aren’t married. Outside of marriage, celibacy should rule. It should be the core of what she stands for, besides God of course, but standing for God as a single woman means you are standing for celibacy.

Many women don’t understand that a man isn’t worth their time if he isn’t willing to wait. Like the Dr. Says “I’m worth the wait”, and she is a Virgin in her 30’s and is very pretty also.

Celibacy puts you on a level of your own, you stand out in the eyes of men, the good men don’t mind and those that mind shouldn’t matter. So if you got a man, and being celibate will run him away or make him cheat, then guess what? It’s done it’s job.

Sex can’t keep a man! There is no other way around it, the best or the worst sex, won’t make him stay or leave, because to a man sex is just sex. So don’t feel like having sex with him will secure a future with that man, because as crazy as it sounds, it might just do the opposite. Being celibate on the other hand, you usher in a real and true man. You build that man, you transform him from a boy into a man. He is earning your love, so when he is able to express it by making love after marriage he appreciates what he has worked so very hard for and has no intentions to leave. But when you give in before marriage, you bail that man out. Now he has no reason to marry you because you’ve gave him the prize before running the race!!

So to the celibate women, and the women contemplating being celibate, let it decipher between the good and bad men. It never lies, because when you find that man that is willing to wait, you’ll realize that it was worth the wait!

The build up, the tension, the worry, the anxiety, all for what? Many people put so much thought into marriage before marriage and don’t realize that it’s almost just like dating. The good thing is that when you are married you aren’t in sexual sin. The consistent part is that the same love you had before your marriage you can have during your marriage.

There is no right time for marriage. There isn’t a set month, age or year that one should get married. Marriage is legal dating. If the relationship was great before marriage then it can be great during marriage. If the relationship was horrible before marriage then it will most likely be horrible during marriage. The piece of paper doesn’t change a thing, contrary to popular belief.

Marriage is a union that is meant to happen. So if you’re with the person of your dreams, go for it. Why waste time losing out on the benefits of Holy matrimony. Get married and squared away before the flames go out and it’s too late.

Many live a lifetime fearing the unknown because they don’t realize that what they think is a mystery or a curse is really what they are living already. Marriage in many ways is the icing on the cake. It is what you make it, so make it happen because you aren’t getting any younger.

God Bless

Today we are noticing many women who keep their guards up. A man can’t even have a casual conversation for the woman’s fear of being gamed. As soon as he opens his mouth she jumps down his throat and believes he is trying to woo her or talk her out of her phone number. As true as it may be for most men, what about the genuine man? What about the answer to the problem? What about the man who could be the man of your dreams?

The guarded woman pushes him away too. This man could be able to help you get through the rough times, or offer you a new break in life, but the guarded woman pushes him away too. Women should keep their guards up, but they should be invisible. The guards shouldn’t be mean faces, harsh words, or rolling of the eyes. The guards should be genuine and sincere questions, simple and complex.

Questions like: Are you in a relationship? What is your occupation? Do you have your own place? Do you have a car? Do you have kids? And so on. Get those answers even if he just wants to be a “friend” because all of that info will affect your relationship with him. Don’t just hear what he has to say, but research it for yourself and find it to be true or false.

Keep in mind while gaurding your heart, you will know the tree by the fruit that it bares! There are good men still roaming around, and their actions will solidify their intentions. Make sure you don’t box the man of your dreams out of your life because you are too guarded to look into his eyes and seek out the truth.

God Bless!

When I heard this it made me laugh, but not in a bad way. It was amusing to me because this is actually a solution to many black women’s problems. In the same day I encountered two young beautiful black females that said they want a white man. I wasn’t shocked or appalled, I just wanted to know why.

We are noticing this taking place more and more. Educated black women or high class black women are growing out of the black man, not all but many. Many of the women in this category remain single, afraid to conquer the beast. They are afraid of what others will say or think, so they are secretly battling with what they want deep down.

I don’t believe that many black men feel threatened by this attitude. Mainly because if a black woman wants a white man whole heartedly then most likely she isn’t the type of woman that appeals to a black man. Also if a white man wants a black woman then he is often times liked or respected by black men. With that being the case, no one is stepping on toes. Instead they are just walking in their destiny.

“He who makes the rules, can break the rules”. If you think about that long enough then you will realize why there isn’t as big of a problem with white men dating black women as it is with black men dating white women.

Live and let love! “Like who likes you, not who you like”!

God Bless!

All over we are watching women degrade themselves for the company of a man. Many women feel lost or helpless without a man. They look to this man for completion and or security. They look to this man for guidance and or leadership. The sad part is, a lot of the women that are leaning on this man for this are leaning on grown boys, not men.

These women are trusting in and relying on grown boys who haven’t yet discovered their purpose on this earth. Grown boys who don’t really understand themselves or what they want out of life. Grown boys who pretend to know who and what they are, by living through the lives of others. Grown boys with a hidden “momma’s boy” complex who seek out and prey on weak women. These grown boys are looking for a mother in the form of a girlfriend. Many of them are finding what they need because our society is yielding more and more of these type of women.

Signs to know something is going wrong. The woman is working and the man is “hustling” or doing nothing. The woman pays the bills and the man run’s them up. The woman has the car but the man drives it. The woman has the apartment or home, but the man run’s it. The man decides where the woman can and can’t go. The man put’s his hands the woman. The man decides who the woman does and doesn’t talk to. These are just a few signs, there are more but I’m sure you get the point.

If you are this type of woman or you know a woman who is “lost” without her “grown boy”, be sure to let her know she is worth more. Let her know that she deserves better, and in order for a man to truly take care of her he must first understand himself. Let her know a thug is not a man, he’s a lost soul. Let her know a dreamer who doesn’t act is not a man, he’s a lost soul. Let her know that she must first be complete in order to get the respect she deserves from a man. Lastly, remember the design by God. Woman wasn’t put here to raise her husband, she was put here to be a help-mate to a God fearing, righteous living man. That’s the only way you’ll find marital bliss!

God Bless!

If you go to your bank to make a withdrawl, would you expect the teller to give you $100, if you only put in $50? That is how a lot of people are treating relationships these days. Many people come into a relationship bringing baggage and bad habits, but expect to get love, trust and respect. It just doesn’t add up.

If you are a woman and you strip for a living, meaning you sell your body, you can’t expect a man to love and cherish you. Reason being, you don’t love and cherish yourself. If you are a man and you sell drugs for a living, you can’t expect a woman with a bachelors degree and a real job to settle down with you and take you serious. Although some people make these mistakes, they soon find out that the two just don’t mix and it won’t last. Again, it’s like a mansion built on the sand.

So when going into a relationship, put in what you want to get out. Give what you want to get in return. Be realistic and really come to terms with your self-worth. If you can’t do that, then just ask someone who is completely honest and straight forward what they think of you. I know ppl say it doesn’t matter what others think, but in reality that is the furthest thing from the truth. We are nothing but what others think of us. We aren’t given the privilege in life to define ourselves, especially if our definition is a lie. If you think what you think is all that matters, let me ask you this: When is the last time you interviewed yourself for a job and had the opportunity to decide if you get it or not? When is the last time you graded your own work and that’s the grade that went in the books? When is the last time you were able to decide for yourself where you would fit inside of someone else’s business, or life? We are what others think of us, so make sure you are portraying what you want others to perceive. The trick is, we may never really know how people really see us. But one thing is for sure, we will get out what we put in. It’s the law of the land.

God Bless!

There is a new type of woman surfacing in this ever independent society. This is the “available” woman. The woman who doesn’t mention her other half until she knows the man she is conversing with has the guts to mention his other half.

A select group of dating or married men have tested this new phenomenon and have been left baffled by the findings. The question is: Why? There was a time that a woman would let you know she had a boyfriend, fiance, or husband before you even opened your mouth to speak to her. Now days many women will talk with a man for hours never mentioning they are seeing someone unless that man does.

So I ask: If that man never mentions his other half, would the women mention hers? It’s the weirdest thing, but it shows us the way our world is growing. Are we coming into a time that women are keeping their options open just as men have always done? Are we coming into a time where women will cheat without really caring as men have always done? It seems women are assuming the same positions as men these days and many women are making more money than men these days also, so now are women beginning to think like men too?

It’s somewhat confusing to the men that have encountered these type of women. The man doesn’t know whether to be flattered or disgusted, at least he can be proud of the fact that he beat a woman to the punch of admitting to being in a relationship. So if you are a woman, ask yourself if you are this type of woman. If so, what type of man makes you become this “available” woman? I wouldn’t practice this tactic to often though, it will only come back to bite you.

God Bless!

There is a woman out there that has learned how to manage her time so that she can get the best out of herself and her day. She has calculated what it takes to be a Christian,wife, mother, employee, and entrepreneur. She has prioritized in such a way that she confuses the average woman. There is no wasted time in this woman’s day. She’s like a machine almost. She has devised a system that leaves no area of her life lacking. She is able to please God, herself and man all in a days time.

In actuality this is how God designed a woman to be, but many have fallen short. So if today you are the “Robo-Woman” pat yourself on the back and keep finding ways to become even better. If you haven’t grown to be that type of woman yet, sit down and figure out what are you lacking and how can you better use the time in your day. Here’s a daily planner from a Robo-Woman I know.

1.Wake up,brush up,sit and Read a Chapter from the Holy Bible
2.Get the kid(s) up and make their breakfast,change pampers,etc
3.Put on the clothes you’ve already had picked out and ironed from the day before.
4.Make yourself a little breakfast,and leave the husband a note leading him to his food and work.
5.Go to work and fully dedicate to your job no matter how much you hate it.
6. Get off work and go get the kid(s).
7. Come home square the kids away and beginn cooking dinner.
8. While dinner is cooking spend time with the husband and the kids
9. Serve dinner,then when it’s finished clean and wash the dishes.
10. Prepare the kid(s) for bed.
11. Get your clothes picked out and ironed for the next day for you and the husband.
12. Get on the computer and take care of your email,web-business,or personal aspirations
13.Shower, cuddle with the husband meeting both your needs.
14. Be in bed by 11pm and sleep well from a long days work!!
15.Wake up shower,and do it all over again with PRIDE!

I keep hearing this statement, loud and proud. It seems as if women are empowering themselves to the point that they become self sufficient and no longer have to depend on two incomes or a man to help them run their life.

This is a new age and a new day and with Oprah and Hillary Clinton on every page women all over are becoming stronger. Many men are wondering how will this effect their “prowl”, how can they get close enough to a woman to get her to let her guards down. What many aren’t realizing is this is a good thing.

It feels a lot better to find a woman who has already found herself. A woman who knows who she is and what she wants out of life. A woman that is understanding and submissive to the will of a good man. This woman develops these ways by first being able to develop herself.

So now all we need is for men to get that same type of power, in the black race educated women to men is 7:1. We need men to step up and decide to become more self sufficient and find out who they really are before entering into a woman’s life and ruining her because he hasn’t found his self yet. If we come together as two complete beings the mesh will be a lot easier and we will be able to work together instead of one for the other.